My life

Why?

I’m in the mood to question everything (actually I’m in the mood to be stubborn, and as I didn’t know how to put this in writing, I stubbornly decided to write anyway). Will I have any answers? Hmm… We’ll see what my ramblings unearth.

The first thing I wanted to question was my existence but then I thought I’m not quite ready to take the plunge yet – what if I prove I don’t exist and therefore can’t finish this post? That’d be tragic, I’m sure. (Man, I’m overflowing with sarcasm and all kinds of crazy feelings tonight)

So what I decided to question instead was – why am I so hard on myself? If you know me, you know I always beat myself up about anything that falls below my ‘standards’ (they’re very fickle and depend on how badly I want to put myself down). But why? I’m sure I did my best, if I feel strongly enough about the subject to make myself feel bad about it. Why then am I so mean to myself? I also know I’m not alone in this, I know there are others out there… *tumbleweed* well, I’m pretty sure there are. I shall enter a cheesy quote here now. With a picture. Prepare yourselves. I got it from tinybuddha.com, there’s plenty more to go round if you want to have a look.

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Now, the ‘quote’ may be cheesy but it has a point. I think I’ll let what I’ve done today be enough and go to bed happy about what I did do, not miserable about what I didn’t do/still need to do. After all, in the big picture, does it really matter whether I go through my paperwork today or if I get it done tomorrow? There’s nothing urgent there. Just my peace of mind. But if I can find my peace of mind knowing that I’ve already done two big tasks today, then that works, right?

I can’t do it every day, I do need to push myself (or I wouldn’t get anything done), but I guess I don’t have to be mean about it. I’ll try to be nicer to myself. Also, if you’ve recognised yourself in this, I hope you’ll go a bit easier on yourself as well. Just give it a bit of thought and perhaps you’ll find that it’s something that you can do. I hope so anyway.

I think I need to go to bed now. Before I stop making any sense what so ever.

Or is it too late for that?

G.

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