My life

Gaping Gaps in Knowledge

You know how a lot of people have these massive gaps where some common knowledge or skills should be? Well, I’m one of those people. Over the years I’ve discovered I’m lacking some essential information from time to time. And that’s what I want to talk about today. Because it’s perfectly alright not to know everything. I’m happy to learn something every day, whether it’s a well-known piece of information or a rare skill. Just bring it on!

1. Until I was way older than I’m going to admit here, I thought (white-tailed) deer were female and moose male. Somehow I’d gotten that idea from Bambi and I thought well that’s got to be true as I read it in a book. Soooooo yeah, that was kind of embarrassing. I think it was my mum who realised that I didn’t know that they’re kind of not the same thing at all.

2. I don’t know how to boil an egg. I mean, I know that there’s a saucepan of boiling water and you put the egg in with a slotted spoon. And I have boiled eggs before, but I need to look it up every time I do it. Or ask my mum. I don’t know whether you’re supposed to put the egg in when the water is already boiling or when it’s still cold. I also have no idea how long you’re supposed to boil it for. I have no idea why it’s so hard for me to grasp or remember or I don’t even know what my problem is with this one. But I just can’t boil an egg without Googling it first.

3. I absolutely can NOT estimate measurements. Distances are a complete mystery to me. If I really have to know/guess the measurements of something then I usually estimate stuff in ‘me’. As in, how many of me would it take from the bottom of the building to the top for example. The taller/longer the object the harder it is to guess though, so it works best for smaller things like bookcases or tables. I wouldn’t be able to tell whether a tree is 3 or 20 meters tall. Just can’t do it.

4. This one isn’t really something essential, but I don’t know how to play any instrument. I went to art school not music school and it’s just something I’ve never gotten round to learning. I tried to learn how to play guitar, but I got bored of it pretty quickly and I haven’t given it a go since. Maybe I should learn something now? It’s never too late, is it? Hmmm, violin? I’ll keep you posted…

5. That’s actually related to my last point. I don’t know how to draw humans. I mentioned I went to art school and yes they did teach how to draw humans there, however, when me and my friend joined, they didn’t have any available places in the first year classes so we were put straight to second year and you can guess what they taught in first year…. Yes, humans. So I can paint you a bowl of fruit and a bottle of wine but anything resembling a human? Noooooope.

6. Eyeliner. Can I just leave it here? It’s really frustrating and I have been practising but I just can’t do eyeliner still. I look ridiculous when I try. My attempts also make me look a few decades older than I am. Not good. Not good at all. I’ll keep practising. Or maybe I’ll just give up and never do it again. Hmpfh. Yes, I’m in a grumpy mood now. Stupid eyeliners.

I think I should probably leave it here. As much as I tried to tell myself that it’s alright to not be perfect at everything, the eyeliner thing still makes me mad. I look at these people (on youtube) just getting it right with one stroke and it makes me despair. Oh well. I shall rise above it and just nod approvingly when I see someone with beautiful eyeliner work. Well done, person, well done. I now picture myself also wearing a monocle whilst I do this. And a top hat. Definitely a top hat.

G.

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