I’ve been engaged to be married since July last year and ever since then I’ve been planning our wedding. Well, I started off with planning the planning and only began to actually plan in about December. I thought that should give me enough time to plan everything completely stress free and chill mode.
The last thing I wanted was to go into Bridezilla Zone and go bat poop crazy. So far so good (except for a few minor meltdowns which culminated in me sobbing my eyes out and crying ‘I want a wedding plaaannnnneeeeer to do this for meeee!’). Then I thought, well, seeing as I’m doing SUCH a great job, I’ll share my initial thoughts on wedding planning. There’s some advice from personal experience there but generally just how I’ve dealt (or avoided dealing) with things.
1. Who’s going to sort everything for your wedding? You may think you want a wedding planner, but if you REALLY think about it – how much more fun is it to boss everyone around* and just assign jobs to everyone you know? Like, super fun! (*Disclaimer: ‘Bossing around’ to be conducted in a careful manner and is to be adapted to suit different personality types and is dependant on the closeness [both physical and emotional] of both parties. Too much ‘bossing around’ may result in physical/emotional injuries in one/both parties.)
2. Wedding dress. This is probably the most important part. I mean, they’re soooo pretty and that’s the one time when you’re allowed to try them on and not feel like a bit of a weirdo! I tried on over 30 dresses before finding The One. I went to quite a few shops with various family members, and my advice from this is: don’t bring too many people with you and don’t be afraid to not buy straight away. You may feel under pressure with people saying ‘it’ll take months to prepare the order’, ‘time is ticking’ and ‘what’s wrong with this one?’, but don’t give in to outside pressure until you’re 100% happy. Usually the staff are super nice, helpful and don’t put you under any pressure to make a purchase. They’re really on your side and want you to be happy with your choice.
Also, if everyone’s saying how gorgeous you look, but you just don’t feel it, then don’t be afraid to keep looking. The last thing you want is to not feel comfortable on your wedding day. The dress out there. (And the truth as well, obviously.)
And hey, if you are in a hurry, then outlets are great for off the peg dresses. They’re usually cheaper, the dresses are available straight away* and you get to feel good for adopting a dress that already exists. You know, some of those dresses never find good homes and don’t get to fulfil their destinies 🙁 (*Disclaimer: If you do buy a dress off the peg and ‘as is’, please ask about the possibility of alterations if they’re necessary and check carefully for any rips/holes/stains that you might otherwise miss if you get caught up in the moment, as they can often be difficult to repair/clean)
3. This is starting to get a bit long winded so I might need to narrow this down or make another post. Hmmm… Ok, let’s continue with the venue. My sister found our venue (see 1st point about ‘Bossing people around’) and we booked it before even seeing it in person. You probably shouldn’t do that. However as we’re getting married abroad, it wasn’t possible for us to go see it straight away and we needed to make a decision. So there you go. (We did actually visit it last week and couldn’t be happier – it’s even better than we could’ve hoped for.)
4. Guest list. As you can see, my wedding planning list isn’t in any particular order. You should probably know the approximate number of guests before choosing a venue. And it’d probably also help to have a venue in mind before getting your dress – a cathedral length train on a gown (that’s the kind of term you’ll possibly know by the time you’re done with the dress shopping) wouldn’t do well on a beach for example. But hey, I’ve never been one to follow any orders usually perceived as logical by others – I’ll just go with it and let the future me deal with it (Oooooh, future me REALLY hates the current/past me by the way).
Back to the guest list – invite the people YOU want there. At the end of the day, would you be happier knowing that you’re celebrating the day with the people you love and care about or would you rather prefer there’s a bunch of people you haven’t talked to in a decade or two that you invited just to be nice and who came for free food? Sometimes it’s nice to reconnect with people you have lost touch with, especially on such a happy occasion, but it’s just something to think about. Food for thought! Mmmm, food. Cake. Wedding cake. Omnomnom. How did I end up here? (…I ask myself regularly)
5. I’ll make this my last one for now. Budget. Soooo, how amazing would it be to set a budget you can afford and then put a certain amount aside every month so you could afford to pay for everything without having a massive debt to pay off once the day is over? I mean, that’d be pretty neat. So neat in fact that it is what we aim for. How crazy is that?! It’s like we’re doing our very best to try to be the responsible adults we pretend to be on several days a week (usually when there’s work involved. Or Important Grownup Things, like getting groceries). For me it helps to think that after all, it’s one day and even though it’s one of the most special days of my life, I think it’ll be the people who are there with me that will make it special. The decorations and music and everything else will just be the cherry on top. Mmmm, cherry on top of a cake. Cake. Wedding cake. Omnomnomnom.
These are my random wedding thoughts. I might organise them a bit better and possibly even make a follow up post one day (perhaps after the big day), where I’ll tell you what actually worked and what didn’t. At the moment I think I’m on track to get everything ready in time, but I might be singing a different song in a few weeks when I realise that I’ve forgotten to do something Super Important and I’ll go full Bridezilla mode. Eeeshk, very scary thought. Let’s hope we won’t see that side of me. Also, even though the pictures may seem random, they’re really not, I promise. They’ll all make sense soon 😉
Right, I’ve got some invitations to make now. Toodle pip!