Hi everyone! It’s been a while since I last wrote anything and it may seem a bit odd as you can see I’ve only recently updated my website (I say I’ve updated it but really it was Blogerize whose team were really kind to set everything up for me which included my site design, moving everything over from my previous page, being available to answer any questions I had and sorting everything else that needed to be done as part of the move). I have had a lot going on and I didn’t feel like writing about it as it was unfolding, but I think that I’m ready to bring you up to date now. So let’s have a bit of a heart to heart.
This month began with me going back to work after being off because my anxiety got the better of me and overwhelmed me to the point where I couldn’t find myself in me anymore and was a blubbering wreck of what I could be. Of what I wanted to be. Have you ever felt nervous about a test or meeting or interview or travelling or well, anything? I’m sure you have. Well, take that feeling, apply it to literally everything and multiply it by 1000. It’s like… I wasn’t even anxious about anything specific, so I felt like there wasn’t anything I could do about it. It was just constantly there. Crippling, terrifying anxiety.
As you know I’ve been seeing a counsellor and am taking some tablets so their combined efforts (and my hard work – absolutely nothing about this has been easy) have shifted things around enough so that I can now function for most of the time. I still have my days and moments when I feel like it’s overwhelming me, but usually I’m able to manage it pretty well now.
So yes, I returned to work which has been going well and last weekend I also went to see my family to have an early Xmas celebration. It was absolutely amazing. I could tell you about how it started off in A&E for me and ended with my return flight being cancelled, but none of that really matters. What’s important is that I got to have a wonderful Xmas with my family. We were all together, exchanging gifts, eating Xmas dinner and just having the best time. I’m so grateful to have them.
I have been feeling a bit under the weather since getting back home so that’s why you’re going to be seeing a whole lot of posts crammed to the last few weeks of December to make up for the time that I took for myself as there’s sooooo much that I still want to share with you before the year’s over!
See you soon and remember to take time to relax and be kind to yourself 🙂