My life

What to do when the worst has happened?

You’re on a holiday. Enjoying the peace and quiet. Relaxed. Nothing can disturb your serenity. Until you spot a wasp. No big deal. Get rid of wasp. Back to blissful seren… you spot another wasp. Hmm, that’s a bit odd. Oh well, it happens. Get rid of second wasp. Forget about it.

Later you’re in the bedroom of the adorable little caravan you’re staying at when you accidentally knock your hand on the ceiling, right next to the air vent (it’s a low ceiling, you’re not a giant). And hear one of the most disconcerting sounds you could ever think of. Angry buzzing. You gulp, thinking that surely it’s not what you think it is. You raise your hand tentatively and tap on the ceiling again. Angry buzzing ensues. Yup, there’s a wasp nest above your bedroom ceiling vent.

Your first thought is to torch the place and run for your life. I mean, that’s probably an appropriate reaction. Until you realise that you can’t actually do that, because laws and you’d feel bad.

You tap again, just to make sure that you didn’t imagine it the first two times. Angry buzzing. Nope, didn’t imagine it. You’re literally poking at a wasp nest. Idiot.

So, now what? The worst has happened. I mean, there is no way the situation could degrade any further. Right? I mean… there is no way the wasps could come through the air vent whilst you’re asleep and… Nope. I’ll stop you right there. That’s not going to happen. Probably.

It’s the ‘probably’ in your previous thought that drives you to search the premises for anything you could use to cover up that vent. Just in case. And finally you have some luck! You find a plastic bag and some sellotape (in other words everything MacGyver would need to build a submarine). You tape the vent shut and nod at it with smug satisfaction.

You have successfully saved the day and your holiday. Defended your keep against mighty foes looking to bring down you and yours. Well done!

Ok, so that’s not exactly how it panned out, but you get the gist. Our holiday was rudely interrupted by our discovery of a wasp nest but we managed to co-exist in peace once we made sure they couldn’t sneak up on us at night.

And in the end it made for a great little story. I’m not sure if I’m going to have any more tales from our week away, because as I’ve mentioned already it was pretty much us doing nothing for a week.

In other words – an absolute bliss.


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