My life

COVID-19 + Anxiety

I was going to give it a funny title, but turns out I’m not at all in the mood for that. I wonder why? (Yes, that was sarcasm)

I think I’ve been coping quite well with the worldwide pandemic situation we’ve had for the past couple of months. I don’t mind the lockdown measures too much as I prefer being home to being out in the world anyway (I’m hoping my custom made me-sized hermit crab shell will arrive soon!). I don’t mind having to keep my distance from people (finally it’s socially acceptable, nay, required, for people to stay out of my personal bubble). I don’t mind waiting in long queues for everyday necessities (that’s what headphones and mobile phones are for!). I don’t mind waiting longer for post to arrive (means I get to forget what I ordered/was sent so it’s like getting a surprise present when it does reach me). I don’t mind not being able to get everything I want from the shops (absolutely nowhere has had vanilla extract in stock for weeks so I’ve been using orange extract instead. Makes for quite interesting bakes). The list goes on…

What has hit me the hardest about this is not being able to see my family (takes a car journey, a 3h flight and another couple of hours by car/coach to reach them). The last time I saw them was in February and then I was supposed to fly over in May. Not surprisingly that flight got cancelled. Ok, fine, I’ll manage. I was feeling down about it but I accepted it (not like I had much choice but I think I did it with grace anyway).

Then my mid-June flights got cancelled just over a week before I was meant to go. That one hit me hard. I had one of the worst panic/anxiety attacks I’ve had in a long time and had to resort to tranquilizers to be able to function (somewhat).

It’s the not knowing that gets me. Not knowing what my next step is, when my next flight is booked for. So I booked another one for a week later as the restrictions were supposed to be lifted by then.

I just got the news they’ve extended the travel ban. Not sure how long for.

Waiting for my flights to get cancelled now so I can apply for yet another refund. And still not know when I’ll be able to see my family.

We video chat of course and message each other constantly. But it’s hard. Not knowing.

Well, that’s my rant over. Needed to get it off my chest.

Stay safe, stay strong. (Corny but hey, if it works we can all beat this stuff sooner and get back to our lives… albeit quite different ones in a lot of cases I imagine.)


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