My life

Tenerife day 3 – Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

Yes, there’s still more to tell you. In fact, the most exciting parts of our holiday happened on day 3. I definitely stepped out of my comfort zone that day and it was amazing!

Saturday 10th of June

It was an early start for us on Saturday as we were going to be picked up to go on a sailing trip first thing in the morning. Quite uncharacteristically I hadn’t actually planned this weeks ahead. Instead, the day before our flight (on Wednesday) I sent an email asking if there’s any availability to go sailing on Friday or Saturday that week. And yay for us there was! It was only a small yacht to make it more personal (maximum 8 people) so we were actually very lucky. In fact, there was only one other couple on the boat in addition to us so it felt like we pretty much owned the thing. Can’t get much more VIP than that.

Anyway, I’m rushing ahead a bit there.

We were picked up by Ivan – our skipper – even though our apartment was outside of his usual pick up range and taken to the port where we got settled down in his yacht Vertigo. The other couple made their own way there and when all five of us were on board we set off.

Due to the light breeze we could actually kill the engine soon and get a proper sailing experience! It was amazing. My sister and I were sat at the front, enjoying it to the fullest.

Just when we thought this couldn’t get any better we spotted a large family of pilot whales. We got quite close to them, turned our engine off and the baby whales were just playing and having fun around our boat. It felt so unreal.

After that we spotted some dolphins! Now they were cheeky little things, getting SO close to our boat and just swimming along with us. I couldn’t stop smiling and giggling to myself stupidly. I could’ve touched them if I’d just leaned out a little bit. Amazing! Later on we spotted another species of dolphins as well but they were a bit more reserved and kept their distance.


We then went snorkelling for a little bit. I’d never done that before so I was a bit apprehensive, but I had the time of my life. I must admit I kept getting ocean water in my mouth, but I just couldn’t stop smiling and laughing (apparently that’s a nono when snorkelling unless you want to be swallowing some water). Snorkelling was followed by a little picnic provided by our lovely skipper Ivan. All in all it was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better sailing and sea life experience.

Usually I’d have called it a day there as it had already been very adventurous, but the day before I’d done something I’ve NEVER done before. You may remember I said we went to a beach near our apartment. Well, what I left out was that on our way to that said beach we went past a diving centre. (I think I didn’t tell you about this yet anyway.) If you know me then you know I can never just walk up to someone or walk in somewhere without doing a lot of research and planning what I’m going to say and all that. This time however I saw a poster outside and I just walked in (I still don’t know where I got the courage for it). I walked in and asked if me and my sister could go diving. They said yes. Holy fudge!!!


So after sailing we had a bit of time to grab a bite to eat and then we walked to the diving centre to go scuba diving for the first time in our lives! Our lovely instructor Anna went through some basics with us to begin with and then prepared our gear. I felt very safe and excited throughout the whole thing.


As the weather conditions were really poor for diving where we were, Anna and Pawel (me and my sis had an instructor each) drove us to a beach about 30 minutes away, to make sure that we get the best possible first experience with diving.

And we did. It was so exhilarating and I felt really comfortable throughout the whole experience. Anna and Pawel were amazing with us!

One of the most difficult parts was getting into the wet suit haha! And when they helped me get my air reserves on my back I felt like a horse being saddled up, but it just made me laugh and enjoy the whole thing even more. The second most difficult part for me was actually stepping into the water (we had to take a long step off the pier straight into deep water). My heart was racing and my thoughts kept going ‘But your gear is so heavy! There’s no way you’re not going to drown! And what if you swallow sea water again and drown!’ That’s just me though and this was way out of my comfort zone but I did it! And I needn’t have worried about any of those things as everything went perfectly. I managed to adjust my pressure, breathe absolutely fine and even let water out of my goggles without a hitch.

To be honest I can’t even remember what we did after that. These two experiences were so brilliant and I felt SO proud of myself for going ahead and doing them. Thank you Ivan, Anna and Pawel for making our holiday unforgettable!

To be continued…


My life

Tenerife day 2 – Soooooo Relaxed

As promised, here’s what happened on day 2. Also, believe it or not I’ve been writing this post for 3 days now. So I hadn’t forgotten, just struggling to find the energy and time to write. 

Friday 9th of June

The day started with me and my sister still finding it hard to believe where we were. It felt too good to be true. Once we’d established that we haven’t gone collectively mad and that we are indeed on a holiday, we went out to get breakfast. We found this cute little pub next to where we were staying and we both had full English breakfasts with fresh orange juice. Yes, we were in Tenerife having a full English. How boring! (It was lovely though so no regrets)

After breakfast we took a stroll down to the beach – it was only a few minute walk and it was soooooo beautiful. We both went for a dip in the ocean. I’d forgotten how salty ocean water is compared to the sea water! (I know it depends on the sea and stuff but I grew up near the Baltic sea which is nowhere near as salty)

Then I decided I wanted more pictures from this holiday. If you know me then you know I absolutely haaaaaaate having my picture taken, but recently with everything that’s been going on I think I’ve lost my mind a little and it’s like I’ve got at least a couple of personalities in me, giving me different thoughts and feelings. (I’m not crazy though, honest!) The part of me that said ‘You’re going to want to remember this!’ won that time and we had a little photo shoot by the hill. The wall I’m sat on was very knobbly and painful but you’d never guess that from the picture would you?

When we got back to our apartment we thought that we may as well make the most of the sunshine and spent a good few hours by the pool and in it. There was nobody else there so we felt like we owned the place and I can definitely see the perks of having a ton of money and a big house with a pool now. I think I’ll do that soon. I mean, if you set yourself a goal and then make every decision about getting closer to that goal – that’s how it works, right? Making dreams come true and all that? 

Afterwards we went for a meal at this little restaurant near our apartment. I think it was called El Botijo? I’m sorry if that’s not what it’s called and I wrote something rude there instead. They had the nicest cocktails and gorgeous food. I got a couple of cocktail ideas for my wedding and it was just so nice and relaxed.

When we got back to the apartment I realised (to my horror) that I’d missed a few spots when putting sun cream on. As a result I had burnt patches. Like… even now I have tanned spots and pale areas around them. My sister actually said that my back looks like world map. Exactly the look I was going for! My sister was a lovely cooked lobster shade herself though so she couldn’t really laugh at me too much.

After that it was late so we just chilled on the balcony, enjoying the view and the weather before calling it a day.

To be continued


My life

Tenerife day 1 – All The Travelling

Soooooo I’ve got a LOT of catching up to do with my posts. I’ve been dealing with some stuff during the past couple of weeks (I’m sure I could be more vague if I tried… well, if I tried REALLY hard) and now I’ve been on a bit of a long weekend holiday thing. To Tenerife. Yeah, apparently you can just go there for a few days, enjoy it to the fullest and poof you’ve been on a holiday! Who knew?

Thursday 8th of June

My sister flew in for a week long holiday on Thursday. She landed in Manchester just after noon and then it was up to me to get there as soon as my legs would carry me. Well,  as soon as I finished work actually. I had to go to work still because apparently you can only take as many holiday days as you’re given. Like, what’s up with that? I reckon they should change the system so you can take as many holiday days as you need. Anyway, I needed to finish work for the day, then I whooshed home, got my bag, did some last minute panicking (as you do) and then left for the train station. I was early as always and got to wait a little but then I got on the train and met my sister at the airport.

The security check was surprisingly quick and once we were through we killed some time shopping (I got a couple of puzzle books! I love them. Some of the puzzles there have already made me feel all smart. We also managed to find a bottle of coke with our destination on it. So, naturally, we had to get it.) and then we got ready to board. Only to be told that there’s a ‘technical fault’ with our plane and that the flight’s been delayed.


I was preparing for the worst, but after only about an hour they’d added all the extra phalanges to the plane and we were off! This meant that our flight which was already due in the middle of the night, only got to Tenerife at about 2.30am or so. Needless to say we were both shattered.

At Tenerife  airport we were met by our Airbnb host who gave us some information about where we’re staying and what’s around the area, etc (I even remembered some of it the next day so he must’ve done something right to get it through to me).

Once we got to our apartment, we were in awe of our surroundings. Holy smokes. The apartment itself was beaaauuuuuutiful plus there was a gorgeous outdoor pool and it was just amazing (I’ve added a photo from one of our balconies from when we arrived).


After admiring it all for a little while we got some sleep. (By this point my sister had been travelling for just over 24h by the way so a big shout out to her for still being mostly coherent and humanoid).

To be continued…



Books, My life

Work it!

I keep writing and then deleting everything and starting all over again. It’s like I can’t even decide what is going on in my head so how on earth am I supposed to decide what goes on here? I think I’ll just do a quick ‘Hi, that’s what I’ve been up to lately!’ post. Just catching up, you know.

I finished reading a book – Cry Baby by David Jackson. That’s 16/30 now. Reading seems to be the only thing that I always really want to do, no matter what’s going on in my life or head (yes, I do realise I’m talking about my head like it’s a whole other world and you know what? It really is. Half the time even I can’t find my way around there). It was the first book in a while that I wasn’t actually that keen on, but I’m glad I read it. I’ll tell you more about it in my next month’s book post.

I also finished watching a Netflix original series 13 Reasons Why. Another thing that I wasn’t actually keen on. It’s not even that it made me uncomfortable or anything, in fact it didn’t at all – should I be worried? – I just felt really, really annoyed throughout watching it. I felt that the main character was entitled, demanding and just really annoying and … well, a typical teenager, I guess? I know because I’ve been there, seen it and done that. So yeah, didn’t like it.

On a more positive note, I talked to someone recently about some things that are going on – I could probably be even more cryptic if I REALLY tried, right? – and for the first time in about a month or so I feel like there’s change for the better again. I have some realistic plans in place again and it’s helped me a lot. So yes, talking helps. Talk to people. Talk to your friends, your family, your doctor, your cat or pet rock. It really does help. Don’t keep it bottled up.

What else? Oh, yes, I’ve been doing my interior design course work. I’m over half way through and have really enjoyed my studies so far, but this unit is really threatening to do me in. It’s twice as long and requires twice as many reports and assignments. That’s where you picture me sliding off my chair into a puddle and just melt out of existence. I still think I should do a little series on it all. What do you think?

To keep on track with my positive life changes and everything, I’ve also been doing my little 30 day fitness challenge. It’s a free app, called just that – 30 days fitness challenge – every day it reminds me to do my little exercises and yes, sometimes I skip a day and do two days worth the next day and yes, there are official rest days in there, too. It’s nice and simple little things like some jumping jacks, planks, mountain climbers, etc. Starts off quite easy, too, and then gets gradually harder. It’s a good way to keep me a bit more active though. Oh, I’m on day 21/30. Can’t believe I’ve actually managed to keep it going for so long. Quite proud of myself actually.

Anyway, I think that’s us caught up, yeah? Great, I’ll see you next time! Time to go to bed and get all rested and stuff. I think that’s how it’s supposed to go. I still haven’t worked out all the finer details – like, sometimes I seem to wake up and still be tired. What’s up with that? Hmpfh.


My life


That just sounds like some swamp creature haha. Blogblogblog.

Recently I’ve been struggling again quite a bit with all kinds of different things. I guess you could say I’ve had one of those setbacks that I’ve written about previously. Some things in my life have changed and it’s had a bigger impact on my health and well being than I’d have liked. Instead of talking about the changes, I’d like to write a little about the impact and what’s next.

You may remember that a little while ago I wrote about how amazing it feels to be better again. In my joy I forgot that it’s not like a cold that goes and you can get back your life the way it ‘should’ be. Or maybe I just hoped? Hmm, anyway, now that’s shattered, it’s time to deal with things again.

I’m getting a bit tired of always having to ‘deal with things’ to be honest. I’d love to just plod along without having to worry about actively monitoring and working on my thoughts and feelings. Now that’d be a hoot!

Ok, I was starting to get a bitter there, I’ll leave it at that and get on with it. The impact of those earlier mentioned changes is that I’m having a lot more difficult time coping with everyday things again. I had a panic attack (I hadn’t had one in a long time now), I’m struggling to sleep and my thoughts keep wanting to take over. To sum it up – not good!

If I hadn’t had that few weeks/months of feeling well again, I might have thought that I’m back where I started and given up all hope. However as it stands, I did have those weeks/months of feeling well again, so I know it’s not all lost and those feelings are still there somewhere. I know for a fact that it can and will get better.

I think that’s a good starting point. Now I just need to convince my brain and body of it as well. That’s going to be somewhat difficult but I hope I’ll manage. I mean, the alternative is pretty grim so in a way I feel like it can only go up from here on.

I realise it’s a bit rambly-brambly, but I haven’t really felt like writing recently, so I thought I may as well write about what’s on my mind at the moment.

Here, have a picture of my wild strawberries. If they can flourish in that field of weeds that is my back garden, then I’m sure my happy/realistic thoughts will find their way through the bad ones in my head too 🙂



Books, My life

P.S. I Love you

When my SO (Significant Otter) and I had just started dating, we used to watch a lot of films together every time we visited each other. This one time when we were staying at my place, I felt like watching a romantic film (as you do when you’re in a romantic place in your life). My SO suggested we watch P.S. I Love you. I hadn’t seen it before and I didn’t know anything about this film, so I happily agreed.

Sooooooo I can’t remember the exact moment, but from what I remember it was about 10 minutes into the film when something sad happened and I started to cry. I was doing my absolute best to not let my SO – then someone whom I’d just started to date – see what an absolute crybaby I am. I couldn’t stop blubbering however and my cushion that I was leaning on got absolutely soaking wet. And I mean soaking. I was probably severely dehydrated by the end of the film. Now when I see it on TV, already the starting credit things get me going. Just can’t hold it back. I’d have thought I’d develop some sort of immunity to it maybe but nooope. Not yet in any case. Maybe next time.

Anyway, long story short I decided to read the book now. So you can guess what I was doing 5 pages in. Yup – crying my eyes out. Very glad I didn’t start reading it on my lunch at work like I originally planned. I don’t know why I even had such a plan. Silly girl!

Yes, I wanted to tell you about something that never fails to make me cry. Go ahead and try to use it against me. I dare you! Ok, I don’t. Please don’t remind me of it in socially awkward situations. I’m already a liability amongst humans, no reason to make it worse.

Great film though. Hoping the book will be good as well. Didn’t get past 12 pages last night before I got a headache due to high amounts of water leaking from my eyes.

I’ll go keep reading it now.

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My life

Wedding Planning 101

I’ve been engaged to be married since July last year and ever since then I’ve been planning our wedding. Well, I started off with planning the planning and only began to actually plan in about December. I thought that should give me enough time to plan everything completely stress free and chill mode.

The last thing I wanted was to go into Bridezilla Zone and go bat poop crazy. So far so good (except for a few minor meltdowns which culminated in me sobbing my eyes out and crying ‘I want a wedding plaaannnnneeeeer to do this for meeee!’). Then I thought, well, seeing as I’m doing SUCH a great job, I’ll share my initial thoughts on wedding planning. There’s some advice from personal experience there but generally just how I’ve dealt (or avoided dealing) with things.

1. Who’s going to sort everything for your wedding? You may think you want a wedding planner, but if you REALLY think about it – how much more fun is it to boss everyone around* and just assign jobs to everyone you know? Like, super fun! (*Disclaimer: ‘Bossing around’ to be conducted in a careful manner and is to be adapted to suit different personality types and is dependant on the closeness [both physical and emotional] of both parties. Too much ‘bossing around’ may result in physical/emotional injuries in one/both parties.)

2. Wedding dress. This is probably the most important part. I mean, they’re soooo pretty and that’s the one time when you’re allowed to try them on and not feel like a bit of a weirdo! I tried on over 30 dresses before finding The One. I went to quite a few shops with various family members, and my advice from this is: don’t bring too many people with you and don’t be afraid to not buy straight away. You may feel under pressure with people saying ‘it’ll take months to prepare the order’, ‘time is ticking’ and ‘what’s wrong with this one?’, but don’t give in to outside pressure until you’re 100% happy. Usually the staff are super nice, helpful and don’t put you under any pressure to make a purchase. They’re really on your side and want you to be happy with your choice.

Also, if everyone’s saying how gorgeous you look, but you just don’t feel it, then don’t be afraid to keep looking. The last thing you want is to not feel comfortable on your wedding day. The dress out there. (And the truth as well, obviously.)

And hey, if you are in a hurry, then outlets are great for off the peg dresses. They’re usually cheaper, the dresses are available straight away* and you get to feel good for adopting a dress that already exists. You know, some of those dresses never find good homes and don’t get to fulfil their destinies 😦 (*Disclaimer: If you do buy a dress off the peg and ‘as is’, please ask about the possibility of alterations if they’re necessary and check carefully for any rips/holes/stains that you might otherwise miss if you get caught up in the moment, as they can often be difficult to repair/clean)

3. This is starting to get a bit long winded so I might need to narrow this down or make another post. Hmmm… Ok, let’s continue with the venue. My sister found our venue (see 1st point about ‘Bossing people around’) and we booked it before even seeing it in person. You probably shouldn’t do that. However as we’re getting married abroad, it wasn’t possible for us to go see it straight away and we needed to make a decision. So there you go. (We did actually visit it last week and couldn’t be happier – it’s even better than we could’ve hoped for.) 


4. Guest list. As you can see, my wedding planning list isn’t in any particular order. You should probably know the approximate number of guests before choosing a venue. And it’d probably also help to have a venue in mind before getting your dress – a cathedral length train on a gown (that’s the kind of term you’ll possibly know by the time you’re done with the dress shopping) wouldn’t do well on a beach for example. But hey, I’ve never been one to follow any orders usually perceived as logical by others – I’ll just go with it and let the future me deal with it (Oooooh, future me REALLY hates the current/past me by the way).

Back to the guest list – invite the people YOU want there. At the end of the day, would you be happier knowing that you’re celebrating the day with the people you love and care about or would you rather prefer there’s a bunch of people you haven’t talked to in a decade or two that you invited just to be nice and who came for free food? Sometimes it’s nice to reconnect with people you have lost touch with, especially on such a happy occasion, but it’s just something to think about. Food for thought! Mmmm, food. Cake. Wedding cake. Omnomnom. How did I end up here? (…I ask myself regularly)


5. I’ll make this my last one for now. Budget. Soooo, how amazing would it be to set a budget you can afford and then put a certain amount aside every month so you could afford to pay for everything without having a massive debt to pay off once the day is over? I mean, that’d be pretty neat. So neat in fact that it is what we aim for. How crazy is that?! It’s like we’re doing our very best to try to be the responsible adults we pretend to be on several days a week (usually when there’s work involved. Or Important Grownup Things, like getting groceries). For me it helps to think that after all, it’s one day and even though it’s one of the most special days of my life, I think it’ll be the people who are there with me that will make it special. The decorations and music and everything else will just be the cherry on top. Mmmm, cherry on top of a cake. Cake. Wedding cake. Omnomnomnom.

These are my random wedding thoughts. I might organise them a bit better and possibly even make a follow up post one day (perhaps after the big day), where I’ll tell you what actually worked and what didn’t. At the moment I think I’m on track to get everything ready in time, but I might be singing a different song in a few weeks when I realise that I’ve forgotten to do something Super Important and I’ll go full Bridezilla mode. Eeeshk, very scary thought. Let’s hope we won’t see that side of me. Also, even though the pictures may seem random, they’re really not, I promise. They’ll all make sense soon 😉

Right, I’ve got some invitations to make now. Toodle pip!